Sweat trickles down my spine as I drop my bag, laden with towels and an endless supply of snacks, beneath the tree. Slipping off thongs, my bare feet savour the soft grass and I gaze at the inviting aquamarine lagoon in front of me.

‘Let's go, Mum!' Declan, my 10-year-old, calls. He's already removed his t-shirt, stripped down to his boardies.

I lean over, slotting thumbs into my waistband. I start unbuttoning my shorts but stop when a group of rowdy teen boys dash past. Wet bodies spatter the nearby pavement leaving behind a dark trail of footprints.

‘What's up?' Declan asks, eyes furrowing, his arms crossed across his narrow chest.

‘Ah, nothing.' That's the problem. Nothing is up anymore. Toned glutes are a thing of the past, despite my best efforts to exercise in between work, the school run and everything else I need to do. ‘Actually, go ahead without me,' I say, nodding towards the waterslides.

‘Really?' His eyes widen in disbelief.

I nod. I rebutton my shorts. ‘I'll watch.'

Declan runs up the incline ahead of me, ducking under wooden barricades. The line moves quickly and soon, I watch him climb the steps, mat in hand.

As I wait, I gaze over the water park. From here, it appears unchanged. The weathered limestone of Skull Rock, the green lawns dotted with families in camping chairs propped beneath sprawling peppermint trees. I smile, picturing my younger self. Back then, I'd lined up in the same spot that Declan just had. My slim, tanned legs restless as I'd waited. Then, I'd take the stairs two at a time before gravity and water had guided me back down into the pool. Then, I would throw my water-laden mat onto the pile and do it all again.

 

Now, I look down at my thighs, pale, the texture of orange peel. I grimace, pulling down on my shorts hem, covering what I can. I lean on the railing that overlooks the slides and watch. With each slider's arrival into the pool, cool water splashes my feet, tempting me. Finally, Declan emerges whooping in excitement. His smile beams, cheeks dimple.

‘That was awesome!' he yells up to me.

I grin back, giving him a thumbs up.

‘When are you coming?'

‘Soon,' I nod. But, once he's in the line, I peer down, picturing my once perky breasts, lolling miserably inside their unsupportive bathers top. I fasten another shirt button.

Declan and I continue this dance for the next hour until he calls up to me.

‘Mum, what are you waiting for?'

I've anticipated this. Mulled over my answer. I want to tell him I'm waiting until I get my pre-baby body back. Until I rid myself of all the unsightly cellulite. Until I successfully strip off every strand of unwanted hair below my eyebrows. Then, I'll join him. Instead, all I manage is a shrug.

After lunch, Declan returns to the slides. I can see it in his eyes, increasingly bloodshot, each time he passes me, His shoulders slouching with each subsequent turn. He knows I'm not coming.

The sun is getting low in the sky now. I check my watch. Time is running out. I grip the railing and inhale, flicking off my thongs. The pavement is still warm on my soles. I inhale, closing my eyes and strip.

This time, when Declan emerges from the pool, I'm standing on the top step.

‘What took you so long?'

He takes my hand and leads up the steps, our roles reversed, I realise he's getting to be as tall as I am. He slides first. Then, it's my turn. I sit, griping the mat as the rushing water sweeps me away. Gravity pulls me down and, as I submerge myself in the pool, the thought of every bulge, every imperfection is washed away. When I surface, all I see Declan. His grin is infectious.