Spider Seaton had spent his life astride his pushbike - postman and mail criss-crossing the streets that fanned out from the Nullagine Post Office.
The Mayor declared: ‘He's been on that bike so long he's turning into one.'

Spider could only remain upright by moving forward. If he slowed to a stop, he toppled over.

The townsfolk grew used to their half-man half-bike. Spider spoke in a breathless whir. Walking uphill, his voice notched down a gear. His wife complained their lovemaking had become mechanical.

On the day Spider retired, everyone wore their right trouser legs tucked into their socks.